Tears of Courage

My husband and I got married twelve years ago. Our marriage had many road blocks and I am embarrassed to say I did not handle them all with grace. We were married in Mexico but ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of getting married in the Manti, Utah Temple. That is where my parents were married. However, when my husbands tourist visa was denied our plans changed quite dramatically. With only weeks before the wedding day, I canceled everything and sadly lost a good sum of money from hotel suites, to wedding cake, to videography. It was overwhelming to cancel everything and everyone from going to the wedding. In fact one cousin showed up to the temple the day we were to get married looking for our wedding party. With things left undone in America, I got on a plane by myself and flew with my wedding dress in hand (literally on my lap) to my new life in a third world country.

It took two months to get the legal paperwork in order for us to get married in Cancun. After six blood tests between the two of us and endless hours in the immigration and judicial offices we finally got permission to be married.

Because Mexico does not recognize religious marriages we had to be married first by a judge and then be sealed in the temple. The company that employed my husband and I paid for a hotel for me to live in. It was next to the ocean so we decided to get married in my backyard and were married on the beach. Our wedding party consisted of the four required witnesses and the judge. That evening while giving a ride to Daniel's friend who was one of the witnesses we were hit by a bus. There I was standing in the street for four hours in my wedding dress as the police, car rental agent and insurance company representatives argued over who was going to pay. It was the bus drivers fault but that is another story. That evening we went to my hotel room an fell asleep. I was exhausted, stressed and sad that I was just married not the way I dreamed of and without one family member or friend. That night I cried myself to sleep.

The next morning we woke up and drove the five hours to Merida where the temple is. Upon arriving we found out that the person we made the appointment with over the phone forgot to write it down in the schedule. The temple was not ready for us. The temple president who spoke English was headed to lunch and wanted us to come back that evening. In the end we convenced him to just seal us instead of doing a session. I had received my endowments in Salt Lake the day I moved to Mexico. After, a rushed sealing.

Tears filled my eyes and ran down my cheeks as I got myself ready in the brides room. The Merida Temple is one of the small President Hinckley temples. Therefore, the bride's room doubled as a chapel for sisters who waited for the next session. The room was packed full of chairs. This made it extremely difficult to get ready in the space. With my big ballroom gown dress smashed between the rows I curled my hair while trying to calm down and fight back my tears so I could put my makeup on. While getting ready I realized I would not be able to lace up my dress. There was a shortage of temple workers that day and no one came in to check on me. It was my second time in the temple, I did not know what I was doing. I did not know I could ask for help. Plus, I did not know how to ask anyway. I did not speak Spanish and the President and his wife had left right after our sealing. I sat in the room for what seemed a very long time not having a clue what to do. After a many minutes had  passed a bride came in with her mom. They could see I was overwhelmed. With my charade like abilities I motioned to them that I needed help. The bride came to my rescue and laced up my back.

At this point I started sobbing. It was all my emotions coming out at once. Sadness that I was all alone. Happiness that someone came, saw my need and helped me. Fear from doubts thinking, "What on earth was I doing." Anxiety as I realized my new life consisted of me not being able to communicate with anyone. Anger that I did not insist on Daniel finding a photographer to take pictures of us afterward. Despair from being so far from home. Nevertheless, I eventually gained my composer and headed out to met my worried companion who had been waiting outside for more then an hour. His friend Angel did take a few pictures of us of which are priceless to me. After pictures we were very hungry. Not knowing the city an having nothing planned we ended up eating at a crowded KFC in my wedding dress as our wedding day came to a close.

Now looking back over these past twelve years of marriage I can say those tears were just the beginning of the thousands that would be shed in this adventure. I have faced some hard times; living in a different country, discovering a new culture, learning a new language, and starting a new life with my husband. Discomfort can teach us much we we allow it to do so. I have found I am a lot stronger then I thought. I have learned I can face challenges with faith. Yet, had I not married Daniel I am convinced I would still be the shy, scared of life, insecure person I was all those years ago. I now know being ejected into this new realm, forced me to discover confidence, courage, poise and hope that I would not have obtained any other way.